Janine DeTillio Cammarata

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Life and times of a motorcycle, yoga, writing momma.

Hope Through Loss

I have always been drawn to books for their deeper meaning and their ability to speak to a reader however they need at that moment.Currently I'm reading Louise Penny's book, Fatal Grace, which is the second book in her Chief Inspector Gamache series.I love the depth of her characters and how she manages to bring out the ugliest and most terrorizing in people so that we can feel and know when we see the good in them as well.One character lost her son and husband in a car accident. It destroyed her until as she said, "I couldn't support the loss any longer." She understood that she would always have the grief, but through her dark journey she had found hope.Tears come to my eyes, because those words called to me. That is where I am. There have been times when I have placed my grief on the ground because the weight is so unbearable. I carry it because I have limitless love for my son. When that grief threatened to separate that love I had to put it down.But then I had this void that was almost as bad as the grief. When I finally realized I couldn't support this loss and the pain it drowns me in, I put it aside with the help of others.But instead of that blank void, there was hope. I was able to see what joy and love I have in my life. My son, Stephen, is an incredible spirit. My husband, who has held me up even when I'm sure I was too heavy and my tribe of family, friends, and community.No one could ever replace Nick. And I would never want them to. I know I will always grieve his loss, but I don't have to carry it. I want to carry his love, not the loss.Penny says she writes so we see that there is goodness. That's so very true. In the darkest moment there is good.I write because there also is hope. And I wish that those who are hurting, grieving, and carrying their loss know that when they are ready to place it down, they will find hope, light, and joy.